


Essek needs a break but Not Like This.

by grumpy_squirrel



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Essek's chronic pain mentioned - I hope I did it justice, Fluff without Plot, Gen, I just wanted this to exist, Slice of Life, Snippets, domestic friends, except the virus ate the canon magic because Reasons. but don't worry it gave it back, it can be shippy if you squint hard enough, probably a little disjointed but eh, quarantine mood, self indulgent fluff, set post Travelercon, with just a tinge of sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23693902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpy_squirrel/pseuds/grumpy_squirrel
Summary: magic machine broke. you won't believe what happens next!(Essek and his slice of life adventures while stuck with the Mighty Nein in Xhorhaus)
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Comments: 18
Kudos: 156





	Essek needs a break but Not Like This.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cers/gifts).



> This fic wouldn't happen without Cers and all the help and gentle butt kicking, er, encouragement they gave me
> 
> This fic was written and posted exclusively to AO3. If you're seeing it elsewhere - they do not have my permission to display or share it #

Forced social-isolation… wasn’t so bad, actually.

Not that much changed in Essek’s life because of it. If it wasn’t for the Mighty Nein’s presence in his life, he’s not sure he would’ve even noticed anything was wrong.

Actually, that’s a lie. He’d notice as soon as he tried to cast the simplest spell, because it wouldn’t work. Some odd virus affected the ley lines and Rosohna was found in a huge area of essentially an antimagic field (he isn’t sure if only Rosohna was affected, _but it’s not like anyone could cast Sending to find out)._

So now, having just discussed with the Nein details of his ‘atonement’ (which took a few bottles of wine to even start the conversation that wouldn’t turn outright into accusations and yells of betrayal) …he was stuck in their house. When he tried to leave, his eyes got brutally assaulted by relentless sunlight, and since the Nein had too many spare rooms anyway, they kindly offered him to stay. It was really bright even for them, as they got used to Rosohna’s eternal shade, far from next scheduled worship days. And, yeah, he _could_ simply walk back to his mansion under a borrowed cloak, but… he figured he simply didn’t want to. And the clerics really insisted - that helped him make a decision too.

He was worried about work a bit, sure, until he still had commitments at least… but when Jester walked to the Lucid Bastion to notify the Bright Queen about his absence, she found the castle closed shut.

"They didn’t even leave a note on the gate, _can you believe?”_

Essek… somehow managed to forget the predicament wouldn’t affect just him and his friends. He stammered, flushing bright when Beauregard pointed it out. _He’s working on it, okay?_

* * *

The first three days were really awkward, no one really sure if they’re not gonna kill each other later in their sleep. Everyone was slightly on edge, and without magic Caleb quickly found himself really bored. So when Essek shyly suggested they could break into his house and liberate a few books, the whole group was just _gone,_ eager to do anything interesting at all.

They couldn’t get to any of his _fun_ books (even despite Veth's lock picking skills), but Caleb appreciated getting to read something new at all. Or, he would, if he could actually _read_ them instead of having Essek or Beauregard read it to him out loud. He slowly started picking up the language, so that was the plan for the nearest future, too.

* * *

A few days later, Essek still really appreciated that they shared some of their clothes with him, even if the flowy material of Caduceus’s old shirt and Caleb’s old pants weren’t exactly his preferred type of fashion. Jester’s collection of dresses was on the next level, though-

“Ohmygosh you guys! We’re stuck, we might as well take a self-care day!” Think of the devil, and she shall interrupt your train of thought.

“The hot tub won’t work without magic," Veth grumbled, cooling Jester's enthusiasm.

“Ah, shit. Right,” the cleric frowned, considering all their options. “New plan! We can do it the old-fashioned way.”

“Like what?”

“A classic sleepover! We could paint our nails, spill all our secrets, then battle each other to death with pillows! Nghh!” Suddenly _very_ into her new idea, Jester looked at the group with an intense expression and a wild grin on her face.

“We could dye our hair,” Caduceus added quietly.

“Caduceus! Wait. _Wait._ Is your hair pink because you dye it?”

“Yeah,” he replied like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.

"Oh. That's very cool. Do you have the stuff for it?"

"I do, I have it on me at all times," he smiled politely, peeling off some lichen from his, now discarded into a corner, armor.

"Let's. Do. This."

Essek couldn't say no to her happy, determined face. And surprisingly, neither could Yasha. She refused all the treatments, but she stayed for the company while everyone else subtly left the room, except…

"Fjord!"

"Em, totally not sneaking away, nope. Mm, yes, Jester?"

"Would you like to try dying your fringe pink? You would look really nice, I think."

"You think so?"

"Yeah! But only if you want to." She smiled gently at him.

"I don't know what- I mean, sure, yeah."

"Are you _sure,_ Fjord?" The firbolg put his hand on the paladin's shoulder.

"Just do it, Caduceus," he sighed, resigned.

"I want my hair pink!"

"We'll see if it takes, Jester. I don't have any means to make your hair lighter."

"I do. I think."

"Oh?" Caduceus quirked his eyebrow at the drow's words.

"Essek!"

"Ah, wait. I apologize, I think that room is under a key."

"It's okay, Essek. We're still gonna try, right, Caduceus?"

"Of course. Would you like your hair pink too?"

"I… sure?" Essek thought his stay there couldn't possibly get any weirder, what's a little lichen in the grand scheme of things?

Yasha pulled out her harp and started practicing as they got to work. Jester gently massaged the dye into Essek's hair, and if she noticed the soft relaxed rumbling… purring... noises he made, she didn't comment on it. Caduceus took care of Fjord's fringe tuft in the meantime. The clerics did each other's hair, and soon after Jester pulled out a small mirror to show everyone the results.

"Oh, man. It's barely there," she whined; only the ends took the color, and it was the faintest difference.

"We'll try again soon, Jester."

"Thank you, Caduceus," she said and gave him a big hug.

Fjord stared at Essek, trying not to burst out laughing, but his face dropped when he took the mirror to look at himself.

"Oh."

"You don't like it, Fjord," Caduceus more stated than asked.

"No, I… It looks very soft, and cute. And I'm… only just learning to let myself _be_ like this, you know?"

"Do you like it, then?" Jester asked, hopeful.

"It'll take a moment to get used to… But yeah, I think I do. I was just surprised. Thank you, Caduceus. Jester."

"My pleasure," the firbolg smiled at him.

The mirror finally made it to Essek, "Oh wow, that's so very bright." He laughed and brushed a hand through his hair, a little in disbelief.

"Now we're all ready to spill our secrets and paint our nails!" Jester clapped, grinning at the guys mischievously.

"Aight, I'm out," Fjord left the room with haste, everyone giggled after him.

"You done yet?" Beauregard's voice reached them from the doorframe that she was leaning on as the half-orc passed her. "You look adorable," she deadpanned, not sure herself if she aimed to compliment Jester or roast Essek.

"Thanks, Beau!"

"What's this about secrets?"

"And painting nails!" Jester ran to her room to grab all the needed supplies.

"You have a black color?" “Is there black, if it’s not an issue?” To the monk’s surprise, the voice of Essek joined with a similar question, yelling for Jester's attention. She squinted at him, crossing her arms.

"What?"

She approached in a challenging manner. "Don't cut yourself on all that edge, Thelyss."

"Likewise, Beauregard. I do not plan to," his lips curled in the tiniest of snarls, showing two pointed teeth on each of the sides.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Yasha put away her harp and did her best to separate the two. "Let's be civil, yeah?"

"Right."

"Ugh, fine," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm back, what did I miss?" Jester squinted at the three, trying to figure out the situation.

"Beau's very eager to paint Essek's nails, Jester. I think we should let them," Caduceus said with a tiny smirk. He mouthed _'Play nice'_ towards the human.

Somehow the evening went without any more incidents, aside from an occasional glare. The whole pile was feeling pretty, built a pillow fort and fell asleep in it.

* * *

The next night Essek shook awake from his trance at an unholy hour, haunted by the nightmares of his restless mind; and as he got up, by limitations of his body. He limped to the kitchen; with a yawn covering his hiss when he noticed the dim light of candles. His eyes refocused with a blink and he saw two figures bickering quietly over the counter.

"No, see, that's where the whole flavor comes from."

"But it's such a weird texture, Caduceus. This is by far the weirdest moss you've ever cooked."

"You might be right."

"Um, hello?" Essek made his presence known, preparing himself coffee.

"Essek, what a nice surprise! Finished your trance?"

“Not really…”

"One for me, please," Fjord grabbed a mug and slid it over to Essek.

"What's this about the moss?" The drow snorted, smiling at them both as the water warmed.

"You see, it's a very special kind I found at the market, it's supposed to taste great with rice and-"

"This shit glows in the dark!" Fjord exclaimed in theatrical whisper.

"Like most things grown in Rosohna. Plants had to adapt, er, my ancestors had to adapt them. I think I know this kind, although I've never prepared it myself…"

"Hey Essek, have you ever cooked something yourself?"

"Don't be rude, Fjord, I'm sure our friend can take care of himself just fine."

"...Does roasted cheese count?"

Caduceus frowned, considering his next words. "Your kitchen… has it ever been opened before?"

Essek looked around, confused, as he poured himself and Fjord the steaming bitter drink. "I don't… what?"

"Your kitchen. The kitchen in your house. When we visited that one time, it was locked…"

 _"I have a kitchen?"_ Essek squeaked in a weak voice.

"When this is over, I'm teaching you how to use it."

Fjord couldn't help but howl with laughter, Caduceus's expression was mortified and it wasn't helping the drow figure out the problem at all.

* * *

Essek found Jester spending whole days in the room they dubbed ‘Happy’, drawing and writing furiously in her sketchbook. In their quiet company, he found there might’ve been something to that name. He idly answered some of her less invasive questions, but on top of his breathing exercises, his focus was elsewhere. She was slowly running out of space, he filed the fact in his memory for later.

He sneaked the next night into her room with some leftovers of his finest paper he had tucked in his cloak and set it out near her colored inks. He felt Beauregard’s glare on his back as he was leaving, but she hasn’t mentioned it since. He took it as a good(?) sign.

* * *

In such a full house, getting to talk to anyone one on one was almost impossible. Essek definitely felt the tension between himself and everyone else, but he didn't expect it from Caleb too.

Although he suspected it probably wasn't entirely his fault. Sudden lack of magic definitely hit them both the hardest; made them a little twitchy, reaching their fingers out to cast even a simple spell and bitterly remembering it won't work. At the times he wasn't busy listening to his friends read him books out loud, or spinning his diamond frantically, Caleb kept _himself busy._

Essek hasn't spoken to anyone in four days, ever since the incident after Beau and Fjord’s workout when his social awkwardness got the better out of him and that he'd rather erase from his memory, but he figured he really... missed talking to these people, these- his _friends._ About anything, even if awkward. And he really appreciated that they gave him his space, usually, but this was starting to get annoying and ridiculous. And he knew only he had the power to change it, so he attempted the dreaded small talk with the first person he came across. And his weak legs carried him right into the study...

"You know, I’ve never looked close enough before. Moorbounder figurines?"

"Ja. I was trying to find cats but we don't always get what we want," Caleb murmured, dusting off the shelf.

"No, we do not…"

“I miss Frumpkin, though.”

“Have you thought about getting an actual cat?”

“He is an actual cat,” Caleb frowned and looked at the drow like he just punched him in the gut.

“I stand corrected, and I apologise. But have you?”

“Yes, actually. And I do not think this is a smart idea. You’ve seen Jester’s poor weasel…”

Essek chuckles, “He’s certainly been through a lot.”

“I wouldn’t put a real cat through this. I can’t, Essek.”

“I think I get it. What about a clockwork cat?”

“I am not skilled in clockwork devices.”

“Me neither, but I know someone who is.”

“Wouldn’t that be a little, you know… nightmare fuel? A cat with no fur?”

“Only one way to find out, friend,” Essek smirked at Caleb and then he walked away.

* * *

Essek couldn't hide his surprise when Yasha invited him in to her room one evening. He didn't know what to expect to begin with, but he definitely didn't expect her to ask him to join in for some meditation. She showed him the flower mural, too. He smiled, knowingly, instantly recognising Jester's artstyle. They enjoyed the comfortable silence, until she suddenly spoke to him in her soft yet oddly threatening voice.

"I don't trust you. I don't think any of us trusts you, anymore."

"You shouldn't."

"It doesn't mean I don't want to protect you. You deserve to get the chance to make up for your mistakes."

Essek huffed sadly, staring at the floor.

"Remember when... Veth asked you back then, if you knew 'Lucien', or 'Nonagon'..."

"Yes?"

"That's not who he was. He was Molly."

"Your friend. The one with, uh, a cult?"

Yasha laughed softly. "Yes. Mollymauk was the best of us all. I think he’d be disappointed in us now. He didn't believe in people having to earn things like trust. He just kinda... rolled with it. And he lied a lot, too, but it was for good reasons."

Essek winced and hissed, instinctually scooting away.

Yasha sighed. "He lied out of kindness, because he didn't trust the truth. He didn't care about your past, only about who you are now."

"I am not a good person, Yasha."

"Maybe not. Or maybe you can be. This group is good, I would know." She paused for a brief moment, searching for something in her bag. "I'd like you to have these. I'm not sure if they'll work, after this whole magic... I don't know. But if they do, I'd like you to have them," she rambled as she pushed the spare bracers she ordered months ago into his hands. "Maybe one day you'll stand victorious with us, covered in guts or zombie poison, wearing these."

"Thank you, Yasha."

"Take care of yourself, Essek."

* * *

It didn't happen immediately, his chronic pain wasn't too severe most days. It took longer than he expected, and the irony that it happened the very next day after his talk with Yasha wasn’t lost on him.

He gritted his teeth with a loud hiss, stopping violently to lean on the wall of their tower when walking downstairs turned out to be too much. Darkness before his eyes; he'd trip in his dizziness if Fjord didn't catch him in time.

"Essek?"

"Give me a moment," he wheezed. No point in trying to hide it anymore.

Yasha carried him gently downstairs after making sure he'd be okay with this. She stood firmly with crossed arms in front of the couch where he was sitting surrounded by pillows. "So? What was that?"

"I-I _might_ have a condition," he admitted in a weak voice. "It hurts to… well, live. That levitation spell helps me move around."

"Then why the fuck did you tell us that floating is your fancy gimmick? We wouldn't force you to walk if we knew, man." And he knows Beau meant it.

"I've lied so much my whole life, I'm forgetting what is true anymore. Which pain is my own."

"Oh, Essek," Jester patted him gently on the back.

"I hope you can find some raw honesty in you again, someday. For your own sake. Tea's ready!"

Caduceus gathered everyone up, on the floor near Essek this time, and they indulged in their afternoon ritual, thanking Clay for the effort as usual.

Essek never thought he'd enjoy tea, but he definitely likes the feeling of being so warm from the inside. He suspected it wasn't _just_ the tea, although the fuzzy feelings were still relatively new.

* * *

"You say it like this," Essek proceeded to make a noise Jester has never heard before in her entire life.

"This is hard! Common doesn't even have those sounds!" Jester whined and crossed her arms in defeat. Despite Beau's best attempt at the same word, it couldn't get through to Jester - her accent making it a little too hard.

Caleb was a much faster learner, and even he stumbled over this particular word. That's when Essek recalled a close enough synonym, and they could resume the lesson for the day. Humble beginnings, and they’ve already made a lot of progress in the two weeks since the lessons started...

Just a week later and Jester was able to compliment Beau in Undercommon to the point of making the monk blush, and the human suspected Essek taught her some words outside of their joint lessons. But it was okay, since she did the same with Caleb. Seeing the drow trip over his own feet when he heard an innuendo coming from the other wizard was totally worth it in her book.

* * *

Later that week, Veth came to their alchemy lab to make acid. She found Essek already there, reading but not really absorbing any of the contents of 'Tusk Love' with a light blush. He could clearly tell she was about to leave, "No, please, the study is yours. I can go."

She shushed him and grumbled at him to stay. He watched as she made a lot of acid, so much acid, _why do they even need all of this acid?_ He tuned out the clinking of vials at some point and actually fell asleep for a short nap. He woke up three hours later with a big, ugly blanket covering his whole body. He shook his head and huffed a short laugh with fondness, relieved that eventually Veth came around…

* * *

“They fixed the low lines, or whatever!” Beau yelled the news as she pushed through the door with a bag of supplies and Jester by her side, a similar bag in her hands. They heard an amused giggle somewhere from the floor as the disturbed chimes announced their arrival.

“Ley lines,” the tiefling supplied patiently.

“Yeah. That’s what I’m saying - low lines. The magic mojo,” the monk deadpanned but quickly cracked into a smug grin. “Hear that, nerds?”

“Oh, that's good news, Beau,” Essek acknowledged idly with his fingers still buried in Yasha’s hair, continuing the intricate braid he was in the middle of. He was sitting stretched out on the floor, leaning on Caleb’s back for support, comfortable and cozy enough that he hadn’t noticed his house key spilled out from his unfrozen Wristpocket into his lap.

The human registered the info with a “Ja, okay,” and proceeded with his part of what looked to be some sort of… hair braiding contest; Caduceus sitting in front of him. Both of them resumed their animated discussion in Undercommon which Beau understood as something about the Biting North and the Age of Arcanum before she tuned out the rest. Jester reached out to the bag and pulled out an upside-down pot on a rack with a small glowing plant with cute pink flowers to give to Yasha. Fjord and Veth watched in amusement, cheering sarcastically for the two wizards.

Being pretty in sync, they managed to finish at the same time. The Mighty Nein proceeded to ‘boo’ them to show their support, and everyone laughed. Caleb finally summoned Frumpkin for the first time in roughly two months, proceeding to hold on to him for a very long time. The subtle melody of a well tuned harp softly filled the space.

Essek didn’t go back to his lonely towers for the night. Or any other night after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I like to put the Nein and Essek in some sorts of magical predicaments huh. Is that my brand for this fandom?? Welp, so be it.
> 
> Low on spoons these days so I probably won't respond to all the comments but I still really appreciate them ;w;


End file.
